"The one chosen by my creator. I have been waiting for you. You will play a role in a great destiny. According to your social customs, I should provide you with my personal designation. Fi is the name I was given. I was created for a single purpose, long before the recorded memory of your people. I must aid you in fulfilling the great destiny that is your burden to carry."
lets be honest, if tom hiddleston was there, he would have paid for the pizza
And handed it out, along with the napkins and paper plates, then asked if anyone needed a drink and would then clean up afterwards.
instead of fighting wars what if countries just played rock paper scissors best 2 out of 3
one time my sisters and i were driving around and we saw a mcdonald’s and the m was kind of loose because there was a bunch of wind
and my older sister was like “mel i dare you do go steal that m”
so of course i don’t back down from a dare and i pried the m loose from the sign and we stole that mcdonald’s m and we hung it outside of our house because our last name starts with m and it was clever okay
but the manager of that mcdonalds FOLLOWED US HOME TO OUR HOUSE and they came to our door a few hours later and my mom answered and the manager was like “…it’s peculiar that you have a mcdonald’s m outside of your house when ours got stolen”
and my mom was like “yeah what an odd coincidence”
and the manager came by like the next day and my mom answered again and the manager was like “alright we know what your fucking brat kids did” and my mom was like “my children would nEVER”
and she closed the door on her and she was like “marielle you little shit”
but then we took the m off of our house to throw off the manager and it’s in our garage now
but yeah i stole a big golden arch from mcdonald’s once
Ok so my last year of high school this kid was really amazing at the pranks he was pulling. He left fish in the teachers rooms with notes say that they were from each other and had them confuses for like the whole day and shit like that. We were all really impressed until one of our teachers told us about his prank. When he was in high school his like three friends and him got drunk and drove by the the Big Boy which had the iconic statue of big boy in front it and so them in all of there drunken wisdom decided to steal it cause it would look better in the lunch room of there school. The big by was wrenched out of the ground, but in the back of the pick up truck and carried all the way to the front entrance of the school, where the three drunk boys then realized that it was to big to get through the doors, so they carried it all the way around the school and went though the shop door, left it in the middle of the lunch room and went home and passed out. When they got to school the next morning the firemen, police and superintendent has been called and they all stood around the big boy like the Whos on Christmas morning, wondering how is got there. Big boy stayed in the school until the end of the year because they could figure out how to get him out. Three drunk high school boy were better problem solvers then the firemen, police and school officials…
THEY STOLE A FUCKING BIG BOY
on time my grandad and his friends put at cow on the roof of their school and the school had to call the fire department the next day to get the cow off the roof because cows can’t walk down stairs
In the sixties my dad’s friend had this car that he loved but complained about all the time so he and my uncle got sick of hearing it so one night they snuck out, hotwired his car, drove it out to the docks and into the harbor. The next day he called them saying someone stole his car and they just acted all oblivious. They still never found out who did it or where the car is.
i want a friend with benefits (dental and medical insurance, 401k retirement plan, etc.)
See you guys next year for Just Give Leo A Fucking Oscar 2015
people who exercise in order to get rid of period cramps are the ones surviving the apocalypse.
when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors
Man I feel really bad for the Tumblr Staff because I bet they aimed for Tumblr to be a cool, suavé, photographic place for artists but in reality it’s made up of hormonal teenagers who obsess over gay fictional characters, and can’t even handle the reblog button turning green to teal
IT IS MINT GREEN
I AM SO MAD I HAD THIS PICTURE READY FOR WHEN LEO WON AND HE LOST THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING
Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys Tall boys tall boys tall boys tall boys
NOT THAT TALL